For your pleasure, I offer up the following gem of dialogue from Samurai Jack: the meanest, prettiest, sword-swingin-est cartoon I've ever fed my hungry little eyes.
Aku, the shape-shifting master of darkness, tears open a portal in time and sends our man Jack into the future. "Where my evil is law!" -Aku
Jack, naturally, is immediately clobbered by a flying car. This is the future, right? He falls and is clobbered by more flying cars until one police-enforcement lookin' vehicle begins to fire at Jack. In a heart-pounding action sequence, the samurai regains his footing, leaps onto the police vehicle, and severs its front end, proceeding to jump down flying cars to the ground as if they were hop-scotch squares. In the junk-alleys of the terrestrial level of the future, a gigantic, spike-wheeled trash compacter threatens to overtake Jack. Nimbly, he climbs its wheels and arrives safely by the streetside. Three curious creatures await him--one in red tones, a squat blue one with a round head, and a gangly green guy with, for lack of better explanation, a bubbling lava lamp for a head.
Beat, as they stare at him. Begin today's Gem of Dialogue:
[wild cheering and gesticulation, "That was bad, man!"]
Red: Yo, Jack! That was some AWEsome shown!
Blue: I ain't never feel the punk moves like that, Jack.
Green: Jack was all ricocheticky jumpadelic!
Red: A hiz-eck yeah, prodigiously acrobotastic.
Blue: Word, word, but then like, when Jack pulled that swizz-ord and was all like, SWING, SWACK, SWOOP, man, right through the car! Swick-attack-whack and spoil out the back, Jaaaaaaack!
Green: Aw yeah, yeah, and it was all shviiiiiiiiiing, PLOOM! Man, ain't that flunky crunker?
Red: Yo then my man just like lands all coolish style, like, "No sweatin' Joe!"
Green: B-b-b-but then that gunna-runna ramalama-lama, and that trashin' all munchin' and crunchin' and snack mixin'
Blue: Under that fat superfragicalilistic tistic tire, yo.
Red: Yeah but Jack's just like, "Word! Let me get some tire," grab, ZOOOP, "I'm out, Joe."
[Talking over each other]
Jack: Thank you. Where am I?
And that just about sums it up, folks. More Jack to come in the future. In the meantime, check out these words of wisdom from Beloved Yoga Teacher:
"The sides of the body aren't identical twins. They're much more like a brother and sister."
Truism, yo.
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2 comments:
2lawwwwwwwwwg loves jawwwwwwwwnnn.
Thank you so much for transcribing this. I just watched this episode last night and rewound this part like 4 times to make sure I understood what the hep kids were saying. (I will now work all of their rad slang into my everyday life.) Samurai Jack is seriously one of the greatest cartoons of all time.
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